Sometimes it's Hard to Find Good in Something with a Negative Connotation

     Yes, I view my knowledge of my BRCA mutation as something positive, but not everybody sees it that way. That should not be so difficult to understand, though. When something is originally connotated with something bad an initial thought is normally, and most likely, going to be negative. As BRCA mutation carriers know, BRCA is associated with high risk for cancer; both breast and ovarian. Because of this, someone who has just found out about their mutation is most likely going to feel devastated. How can we question those who do feel this way when a negative connotation has always been associated with this mutation. Yes, some people go beyond the negative connotation and feel that knowledge is power. This is definitely true, but hard to believe when an 87% chance for breast cancer  and a 25-50% chance for ovarian cancer is staring you in the face.

     My mother is a carrier and she is also a very strong women. Regardless of this fact , though, she has a harder time with being BRCA positive than I do myself. I know that she feels it is her fault that I carry this mutation. It is not fair for her to feel this way. She had just as much control over her genetics as I did. If my mutation is her fault than her mutation would be her mother's fault and the pattern would continue back to the first carrier. It is not fair for anybody to place blame on themselves for this uncontrollable situation. 

     I know that some people struggle with their decisions for preventative surgery.These surgeries can change your lives forever. You must remember, though, that a cancer diagnosis can change your live forever too and in worse ways. Preventative surgeries such as a hysterectomy may now feel like it was an extreme decision and that's understandable. After a surgery like that you directly go into surgical menopause. This situation can make you feel like less of a woman than you once were. You experience things that once weren't issues and finding ways to cope and deal with this can be hard. Just remember, though, that whether you went into menopause surgically or naturally you would have no matter what. This happens to be one of the less than glamorous aspects of womanhood. That doesn't make women less glamorous, though. Although, there may not seem to be any natural ways to solve problems that come along with surgical menopause, there are alternatives. I know it's frustrating to know that you have to resort to alternative ways in order to resolve problems brought on by menopause, but at least there are options. I know sex has become less appealing to women I know after they went through surgical menopause. Try to embrace this opportunity as a way to enhance your sex life. Although it may no longer be natural, it can still be fun, romantic and enjoyable. Hosting a sex toy party would be a great way to learn possibilities for enhancement. Hosting a sex toy party doesn't mean you need to buy sex toys, but rather can explore the possibilities for a better sex life. Such parties give out catalogs that way if can order your items in privacy if you feel the need. This is only one of many ways to cope with frustration. 

     Remember that everybody gets frustrated and people more times than non second guess their past choices. Everybody knows that staying positive is not an easy task. Staying positive in what seems like a bad situation can make it easier to embrace the situation and turn it into sometime positive. When you struggle with that, though, remember to remain hopeful.

If you are having trouble finding positive light through this mutation,
Positive Results: Making the Best Decisions When You're at High Risk for Breast or Ovarian Cancer

can maybe help you to find a positive side. This can also be helpful as far as making the best decisions for yourself during this time too. The right decisions can help to make you happier and less worried and stressed due to this mutation.